Let's become Honest about being Dishonest!

We are always inculcated with different “good” values during our childhood. Honesty is one such value which is taught to us and given a lot of importance. When I think of it, I find it very difficult to define Honesty. The meaning of Honesty given in dictionary is, the act, quality or condition of being honest; to be truthful. If this is Honesty then why do we see different versions of it. We had come across many situations during our childhood which made us rethink about honesty. For example we were told to be good to people even if we did not like them, like when your father did not want to attend to the person at the door or the phone, he told us to tell that person that he is not home. Then there are people, who backbite about you, but meet you with so much love and compassion in person, that you get confused. Most of our childhood experiences made us believe that little adultery is part of honesty.

We formed a new definition of honesty which includes white lies and little manipulation. These white lies and manipulations are very frequently used by us because we think it is harmless. We even justify it by saying that we do this because we do not want to hurt the other person. Most of the couples keep on saving their relationships with the help of a little manipulation and white lies and feel that they are doing this because they love and care each other. We use selective honesty in our relationships today.

I always asked this question to myself, why do we feel the need to be dishonest? I understood that honesty is a two way relationship. You cannot expect the other person to be honest with you if you are not receptive and likewise you cannot be honest with a person who is not receptive. Honesty requires courage for both the persons involved, the giver and the receiver. Actually we need to check our acceptance and receptive ability whenever we blame the other person for not being honest.

It is really difficult to be truly honest everytime with every person in every situation.  In today’s time, the proverb “Honesty is the best policy” has changed to “Honesty is the best policy, Conditions apply”.